Today was the last day for a fellow van rider; a rider I have complained about vociferously (here & elsewhere). Spouse, who never met him, recently called him the “Village Idiot”.

The last thing this fellow said to me was that it was a pleasure riding with me and I am “funny & brilliant”; two of the top 5 things I would like to hear said about me.

Now I feel mean.

It started with the love of learning. I really liked school. I loved spending my time just learning how things work, what people think, how things got the way they are, everything. I loved learning. College offered all that and personal freedom. I spent my time exploring the world both of learning and of other people. The freedom was palpable and I breathed it in deeply. It was like being born again. After college I worked at a university doing basic biological research. I got paid to wander through wilderness areas with other people all of whose job was to explore and understand how the world worked. What could be better? I loved it. The perfect world.

So, I always thought I would follow that path. And I did for a very long time. It was a wonderful fun & fulfilling path. To follow this path as a career, I needed more formal education. I got the Master's, I worked on the PhD. Neither worked out as well nor as easily as I would have liked. I didn't get the PhD. That meant I wouldn't be able to be a professor somewhere and just explore the natural world and teach other people how to explore the natural world. Spouse did get a PhD. He could teach at a small college. Although, he tried for jobs like that for a year or two. Never got a bite.

All this left us with jobs that were 'soft money'. That means the funding is from grant to grant, with no guarantee of employment down the road: no tenure (much like the private sector actually). With a PhD, spouse would have to be the one writing to get the grant. With a master's, I couldn't write the grants, I had to find a reasonable PhD to write the grants for me to do the work..

That worked for us for many years. I did that from 1979 to 2002...then for the first time ever, I was unemployed. Spouse got his PhD in 1990 & he worked on decent, exciting grants until 1999. He was told that he needed to be more aggressive and publish more if he wanted to continue on this path of chasing grants & research. He didn't like the lives of the people ahead of him career-wise. He quit and started driving a truck.

I still have shadows of regret. I still think that I would love the life of a professor at a small college. Learning, teaching hanging out with people interested in ideas, understanding knowledge. Alas, that path hasn't worked out. One of the reasons it hasn't worked out is while these jobs sound ideal they ask a great deal from the rest of your life. In our research fields, the jobs are few and far between & you have to give up all other life to follow the jobs. Sour grapes? I don't know.

By the time we came along we could not find jobs & afford to live in a reasonable location or own land. Spouse seems pretty content in living & learning for free & working otherwise to make money. I am less comfortable with that idea. I loved working the job I loved, but I couldn't have the farm, the dogs, the chickens...or so it seemed. I miss the community whose job was to learn and explore ideas. The people I work with are
interesting, intelligent people, but it isn't their job to learn more about the world.

But then again, my last experience with a university the students nor the professors were particularly interested in just learning for learning's sake. They were interested in doing their specific research and their curiosity didn't move much beyond that.

This is a struggle I believe I will always have. Spouse seems comfortable with his choice. I have not made peace with it.

Ultimately, it seems that my personal failing is lack of follow through. I love the exploring, I love the data collecting. I even love the writing & organization of ideas into a clear cut problem to solve. But, I have historically had problems finishing, completing all that needs to be done to have a finished product: no follow through. I have had wonderful opportunities and ultimately I have not taken full advantage of them. Rather than immersing myself completely and with all my heart & soul into the particular problem solving issue; I have gone home and played with my sewing machine, or my camera or my dog or gone to the theater or read a novel. I have repeatedly failed to take full advantage of my job situation and create my own research project.

Alas...

Another video that will make you happy.

Friendships really do come in all shapes and sizes.
http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2009/09/26/orangutan-and-hound-dog-b_n_299010.html

We prepared a feast for the dead & set two plates: one for the spirits of the land & one for our ancestors. Roast, potatoes, carrots, cold slaw, cornbread, wine & tea (we don't keep coffee).

We went to Mother-in-laws to hand out candy to the goblins.

We went to the Torture Factory, a locally produced haunted house. I was surprised to find it had a major presence on line. It was even listed by googling “Nashville Haunted Houses”. It has a back story of a crazy, renegade homeland security torturer who has hidden out in rural Tennessee. I am not very interested in sadism, and wanted a good ol' house haunted by ghosts. But we went anyway to support the local economy. It was wonderful. It was the longest & imaginative haunted house I have been to. While there weren't exactly ghosts, there were clearly dead animated individuals. There were creatures that blended unnervingly into the walls. The best was a hallway of soft walls that stuck out and grabbed you. I actually started screaming at that point, not something I normally do in these places. There was a very long maze that we couldn't find our way out of for quite a while. We even had to crawl through a long oven. It was good. It was cathartic.

Then home. We don't get trick or treaters at Welpenwald, the population is too disperse. But, when we let the dogs out of their upstairs confinement, they were very excited and they ran around the feast set table sniffing the floor? I could understand them sniffing the food. But now. They sniffed the floor. Odd.

We stayed up to hear the Westminster Clock chime midnight. I rescued it from my Mom's & took it to a clock repair guy. I just got it back yesterday. It chimes on the ¼ hour & then chimes & bongs on the hour.

Apparently, Spouse really does like the decorations. He asked me not to take them down until next weekend. Although, Spouse borrowed Mr. McCord's black robe (the ghoul in the balcony). He traded him with a silver spangled robe. Now Mr. McCord looks like he is in drag.

This for some of my friends who are into this.


http://news.nationalgeographic.com/news/2009/05/photogalleries/zombie-ants/index.html

1.Katie Halper: Best Political Halloween Costumes: Put Your Costume Where Your Mouth Is

2.from The Full Feed from HuffingtonPost.com by Katie Halper

3.Put on a bunch of fake blood, carry a cane or crutches, draw on what look like home-made stiches. You're... the opt out to the public option.

4.Put a pillow under shirt and carry a bunch of baby dolls. You're... Abstinence Only.

5.Wear a suit and glasses. Get a wolf stuffed animal and apply fake blood to it. Carry around the wolf and a baby (keep its eyes shut if possible so it looks asleep). In your free hand carry around a thesaurus. You're... Sarah Palin

6.Combine a sexy nurse outfit with a pants suit. You're... Nancy Pelosi.

7.Wear a pope costume. Take three cards, which you will pin to your costume. Write "Holocaust Deniers" on one, "Married Priests" on another one and "Gays" on another one. Put checks next to and Married Priests and Holocaust Deniers and draw a line crossing out the Gay sign. You're... Pope Benedict. (Feel free to add a Hitler Youth Arm band. Not sure what they look like but think Hello Kitty meets swastika).

8.Wear a fancy suit with a top hat and a cane. Stuff yourself with pillow so you look as bloated as possible. Wear a dollar sign around your neck (you can make it out of tin foil.) You're... Too big to fail.

9.Wear a devil costume. Pin a hanger to it. You're... the anti-choice movement.

10.Wear galoshes, carry an oar and put a question mark on your shirt. You're... Roe v Wade.

11.Wear pajamas. a mustache and carry around a one way ticket to Costa RIca. You're... Manuel Zelaya... President of Honduras... Remember Honduras... It's a country.

12.Wear a cowboy hat and a suit (or an entire cowboy costume). Carry around a pair of clippers. Cut out pieces of paper in the shape of quote bubbles. Write things like "you can do it!", "believe in yourself," "it's not where you're from, it's where you're at." You're... George Bush.

13.Wear dog ears and a tail. Wear all blue. get a stuffed animal of a donkey and tie a rope around its neck and drag the donkey around with you so it trails on the floor. Feel free to step on it. You're a blue dog Democrat.

14.Wear a polo shirt and khaki pants. Put a pillow (or two) in the shirt. Carry around a microphone and stuffed animal elephant. Tie a rope around its neck and drag around with you so it trails on the floor. Feel free to step on it. You're... Rush Limbaugh.

I used to get this when I first started working for the state.

The Annoying Dope on the van told me today that I am a Yankee. I told him that I am from Georgia. My entire family is from Georgia. My husband is from Georgia and his entire family is from Georgia (except his mother, who is from Virginia). I pointed out that Georgia is SOUTH of Tennessee. He DISAGREED with me!!! Another on the van said we would have to 'agree to disagree'!?!

Excuse me? How should we agree to disagree as to whether I am from the south or not? Apparently my accent negates my heritage, my history and my family ties. Some people live such insular lives that they get their cause and effects backwards (i.e., believes that everyone from Georgia speaks with the accent he believes we all have. He continues to believe this in the face of someone who is from Georgia and who doesn't speak the way he "knows" Georgians speak. This is the ignorance of stereotyping).

DOPES!!!

I think tomorrow I will tell him that I believe he is from South Dakota. And if he disagrees, then we will have to agree to disagree.

"Local" of course, can cover a 2 state area.

During the past year, I have been trying to develop a seasonal decorating plan for this house. It is a complicated house to decorate (a fancy porch, a balcony, two fireplaces & mantels, a foyer), and it is a complicated living arrangement.* I am assuming it will get easier as the house approaches completion. Nonetheless, I want to honor the seasons with little reflections in the house.

As I have been thinking of these seasonal transitions it (finally) occurred to me that a seasonal holiday for death should come AFTER the holiday of final harvest. It has seemed pretty odd (and inconvenient) that we decorate for harvest in September. Then in October, decorate for death & closure. Then in November, we pull out the harvest motifs again. I guess this is just an artifact of our multicultural absorbent culture. But, does that seem weird to anyone else?

None the less, I have found some October decorations that I really like this year. Last year I sewed a beautiful table runner with silver spider webs & shiny black & red spiders. I love it. I also bought a sparkly human skull on sale (not real, mind you). So this year, I put them together and love the look. Spouse said he liked it, but wouldn’t admit that it was scary.





Then Antrozous sent me these adorable battery operated lights. They are so cool, and I hung them from the chandelier over the skull. Spouse came in and said, “I think those lights have parted the veil.” Now THAT’S the reaction I was looking for.



It finally occurred to me that I should light the candles & this is result after I blew them out.





And of course, this is the balcony with Mr. McCord & all his little minions (and one big one although, it is probably too dark to see the large spider reaching down to the porch). I so want to have parties here.



I so want to have parties here.

*Rooms finished: foyer, bedroom, dining room, den, landing. Rooms finished for function: kitchen, downstairs bathroom, laundry room, walk-in closet. Rooms unfinished & full of junk: Guest bedroom, upstairs bathroom, sunroom, outside of house, patio.

http://conservapedia.com/Conservative_Bible_Project

There is a “Conservative Bible Project” whose intent, is not to create a translation of the bible that is the most scupiulously accurate, but one that is translated with 'conservative values”. Isn't that taking a modern perspective to interpret the bible?
These are their 10 guidelines.


1.Framework against Liberal Bias: providing a strong framework that enables a thought-for-thought translation without corruption by liberal bias

2.Not Emasculated: avoiding unisex, "gender inclusive" language, and other modern emasculation of Christianity

3.Not Dumbed Down: not dumbing down the reading level, or diluting the intellectual force and logic of Christianity; the NIV is written at only the 7th grade level[3]

4.Utilize Powerful Conservative Terms: using powerful new conservative terms as they develop;[4] defective translations use the word "comrade" three times as often as "volunteer"; similarly, updating words which have a change in meaning, such as "word", "peace", and "miracle".

5.Combat Harmful Addiction: combating addiction by using modern terms for it, such as "gamble" rather than "cast lots";[5] using modern political terms, such as "register" rather than "enroll" for the census

6.Accept the Logic of Hell: applying logic with its full force and effect, as in not denying or downplaying the very real existence of Hell or the Devil.

7.Express Free Market Parables; explaining the numerous economic parables with their full free-market meaning

8.Exclude Later-Inserted Liberal Passages: excluding the later-inserted liberal passages that are not authentic, such as the adulteress story

9.Credit Open-Mindedness of Disciples: crediting open-mindedness, often found in youngsters like the eyewitnesses Mark and John, the authors of two of the Gospels

10.Prefer Conciseness over Liberal Wordiness: preferring conciseness to the liberal style of high word-to-substance ratio; avoid compound negatives and unnecessary ambiguities; prefer concise, consistent use of the word "Lord" rather than "Jehovah" or "Yahweh" or "Lord God."

Some of these I can understand, such as not dumbing it down. But, avoiding liberal bias & express free market parables are just absurd interpretations.

These people suck.

Rider A: I have a friend who spends all of his time playing chess online.
Rider A: Your friend is addicted. I don't want to have anything to do with Myface or any of those things.
Rider B: He plays with people all over the world.
Rider A: That is because he is addicted. He can't help himself. It is an addiction.
Rider B: He stays up late playing with people in Russia & China & Africa.
Rider A: It's an addiction. It is because he can't be content sitting and watching TV or just doing nothing. He is addicted.

Our Walmart here in Hohenwald, TN has a huge sign at the beginning of the produce section declaring that they support local farmers. The sign even has a lovely picture of a nice couple who own a farm one county over. Despite the sign, we have looked and looked and can't find a single item of produce that actually came from that farm. We bought a watermelon there that said it was locally grown. Upon closer inspection it seems the watermelon was locally grown in Michigan.

I just finished posting most of this on Earthwymen's blog. I thought I should post it here.

I quite liked it. I laughed. I cried. I got very depressed and anxious. Then I got very proud. I wish I had been alive in the time of FDR. He was a wonderful man & I am proud to say that my family have all been "FDR Democrats".

This movie brought up some thoughts.

I do not, and never have understood how the religious right in this country can promote a system based on greed. Capitalism is based on greed. Without some mediating force it is completely run by greed, pure and simple. This country is not based on greed. It is based on freedom and equal rights. Unfettered greed is NOT freedom & it is certainly not equal rights.

I am not for unbridled competition. I think it is an inappropriate social or economic model. However, if you are going to tout capitalism you CANNOT take bailouts. You CANNOT give bailouts. The essential part of capitalism that "they" continually ignore is failure. If it doesn't outcompete then it fails. It has to be allowed to die. It is immoral to prop up the failed rich on the backs of the poor.

For the first time one of his movies actually left me with hope.

Spouse saw BJ walking, limping really, around her own property. She is alive & surviving her coyote attack & week in the wilderness.

The bad news is she is still unconfined.

Good dog. Bad owner.

On the drive home I heard the car companies whining that their car sales are down for September. They interviewed a fellow saying the cash for clunkers bailout was not worth it. All those people would have bought cars anyway & we would still have inventory & September wouldn't be down & & Joey spit in my milk.

The cash for clunkers bailout was the ONLY one of the tax relief plans that gave an advantage to us, consumers, peons, little people...the ones on whom whose backs this economy rests. It also took a lot of gas guzzlers off the market that were designed by those stupid big car companies. ANd they will no longer be spewing trash into OUR COLLECTIVE AIR.

Go fuck yourselves Big Car Executives.

The neighbors rottweillor is acting very sick in our back yard. She doesn't look good. Spouse called the neighbor. But, he won't do anything for several reasons: injured dogs bite even if they don't mean to, we don't know what is wrong with her (rabies, parvo, coyote attack). He is afraid if he doesn't anything the neighbor will get violent. The vets in the county are way too overwhelmed to actually come out for a random stray.

But, it is terrible to watch Spouse decide to leave a dog that is ill. I know it is tearing him up.

I hate this.

The old news this morning covered 3 decades.

A prize winning essay written in 1953 for the coronation of Queen Elizabeth II of England has been found. It was written by a 10 year old Sir Paul McCartney. I haven’t seen the text of the essay but I trust it wasn’t

Her Majesty’s a pretty nice girl, but she doesn’t have a lot to say.
Her Majesty’s a pretty nice girl, but she changes from day to day.
I want’ to tell her that I love her a lot but I’ve got to get a belly full of wine.
Her Majesty’s a pretty nice girl, some day I’m gonna make her mine, oh yeah.
Some day I’m gonna make her mine.

Don Fisher co-founded The Gap in 1969 (Defining how Americans can be cool & casual, as the Vogue reporter said).

And last but not least, Roman Polanski was arrested for a 1978 statutory rape charge.

It was like a walk through time.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jedd2FiZTqM



Take a minute to see this!

YouTube - Bodhisattva in metro <http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jedd2fiztqm>

Last night we spotted a copperhead on the road near our house.  It was brilliantly colored, fat & sluggish.  It is only the second venomous snake I have seen since moving to Tennessee.

Spouse is building kitchen cabinets.  He has the frames for all of them to completely circle the kitchen.  Yeah!

We just finished season 2 of Dexter via netflix.  Now we will have to wait until next fall to get season 3.  However, we will be starting the 2nd season of The Big Bang Theory (also via Netflix) just in time for it to start with season 3.  I MAY be able to tape this season at Mother-in-law's house.  Although, I will believe it when I see it.

I picked up this little list from starcat_jewel. The “tips” normal rape prevention lists give potential victims are so condescending. It’s fun to turn the tables.

 

http://nonotyou.tumblr.com/post/168208983/sexual-assault-prevention-tips-guaranteed-to-work

 

Sexual Assault Prevention Tips Guaranteed to Work!

1.   Don’t put drugs in people’s drinks in order to control their behavior.

2.   When you see someone walking by themselves, leave them alone!

3.   If you pull over to help someone with car problems, remember not to assault  them!

4.   NEVER open an unlocked door or window uninvited.

5.   If you are in an elevator and someone else gets in, DON’T ASSAULT THEM!

6.   Remember, people go to laundry to do their laundry, do not attempt to molest someone who is alone in a laundry room.

7.   USE THE BUDDY SYSTEM! If you are not able to stop yourself from assaulting people, ask a friend to stay with you while you are in public.

8.   Always be honest with people! Don’t pretend to be a caring friend in order to gain the trust of someone you want to assault. Consider telling them you plan to assault them. If you don’t communicate your intentions, the other person may take that as a sign that you do not plan to rape them.

9.   Don’t forget: you can’t have sex with someone unless they are awake!

10. Carry a whistle! If you are worried you might assault someone “on accident” you can hand it to the person you are with, so they can blow it if you do.

     And, ALWAYS REMEMBER: if you didn’t ask permission and then respect the answer the first time, you are commiting a crime- no matter how “into it” others appear to be.

 

This one came from wytchlady.

http://www.beautyden.com/news/rapex-anti-rape.html

 

I think it is very telling that anyone would accuse the maker of this devise as a “man hater”. It just shows that anything a woman does to stand up for her own rights labels her as a “man-hater” by worshipers of the patriarchy.